Socks are only for bowling.
You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
Your winter coat is made of denim.
You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.
You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.
You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.
You dread love bug season.
You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave.
You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
‘Down South’ means Key West ..
Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
You’ve hosted a hurricane party.
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee and Micanopy.
You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.
You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.
You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.
You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘Northern Cuba . ‘
April 29, 2008
Election Update
Well, experts say the big test for Barack Obama will be surviving the negative attacks.
The big test for Hillary Clinton, of course, is surviving North Carolina.
The big test for John McCain is just surviving until November.
The big test for Hillary Clinton, of course, is surviving North Carolina.
The big test for John McCain is just surviving until November.
April 27, 2008
April 26, 2008
All About Crayons
* The first box of Crayola crayons was sold in 1903 for a nickel and included the same colors available in the eight-count box today: red, blue, yellow, green, violet, orange, black and brown.
* In the last 98 years, more than 100 billion Crayola crayons have been made.
* Most Crayola crayon color names are taken from the U.S. Commerce Department’s National Bureau of Standards book called “Color: Universal Language and Dictionary of Names.” Many crayon names are also borrowed from traditional artists’ paints.
* The average child in the United States will wear down 730 crayons by his 10th birthday (or 11.4 boxes of 64s). Kids, ages 2-8, spend an average of 28 minutes each day colouring. Combined, children in the US spend 6.3 billion hours colouring annually, almost 10,000 human lifetimes!
* Crayola crayon colour names rarely change. However, there are exceptions. In 1958, Prussian blue was changed to midnight blue in response to teacher recommendations that children could no longer relate to Prussian history. In 1962, the colour flesh was changed to peach recognizing that not everyone’s flesh is the same shade.
* The name Crayola was coined by Alice Binney, wife of company founder Edwin, and a former school teacher. She combined the words craie, which is French for chalk, and ola, for oleaginous, because crayons are made from petroleum based paraffin.
* In the last 98 years, more than 100 billion Crayola crayons have been made.
* Most Crayola crayon color names are taken from the U.S. Commerce Department’s National Bureau of Standards book called “Color: Universal Language and Dictionary of Names.” Many crayon names are also borrowed from traditional artists’ paints.
* The average child in the United States will wear down 730 crayons by his 10th birthday (or 11.4 boxes of 64s). Kids, ages 2-8, spend an average of 28 minutes each day colouring. Combined, children in the US spend 6.3 billion hours colouring annually, almost 10,000 human lifetimes!
* Crayola crayon colour names rarely change. However, there are exceptions. In 1958, Prussian blue was changed to midnight blue in response to teacher recommendations that children could no longer relate to Prussian history. In 1962, the colour flesh was changed to peach recognizing that not everyone’s flesh is the same shade.
* The name Crayola was coined by Alice Binney, wife of company founder Edwin, and a former school teacher. She combined the words craie, which is French for chalk, and ola, for oleaginous, because crayons are made from petroleum based paraffin.
If Automobile History Kept Up With Computer History
Compare the advancement in disk drives with that in automobiles: A car in 1956 cost about $2,500, could hold five people, weighed a ton, and could go as fast as 100 mph.
If the auto industry had kept the same pace as disk drives, a car today would cost less than $25, hold 160,000 people, weigh half a pound and travel up to 940 mph.
If the auto industry had kept the same pace as disk drives, a car today would cost less than $25, hold 160,000 people, weigh half a pound and travel up to 940 mph.
April 25, 2008
April 24, 2008
April 21, 2008
Srry about low postings
Hi Srry i have not been posting. i am in NYC and i don't have an internet connection srry again. i am at the apple store postiong this. ill post again tuesday night or wednesday morning probably tuesday tho. Srry again.
PS super swamped this week... there might not be many posts thx Srry again
Guess Who,
iamcylon12-Jack
PS super swamped this week... there might not be many posts thx Srry again
Guess Who,
iamcylon12-Jack
April 14, 2008
April 13, 2008
April 11, 2008
If The World Had 100 People
If we could reduce the world’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:
60 Asians 12 Europeans 5 US Americans and Canadians 8 Latin Americans 14 Africans
49 would be female
51 would be male
82 would be non-white
18 white
89 heterosexual
11 homosexual
33 would be Christian
67 would be non-Christian
* 5 would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth, and all of them would be US citizens
* 80 would live in substandard housing
* 24 would not have any electricity
(And of the 76% that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)
* 67 would be unable to read
# 1 (only one) would have a college education.
* 50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
* 33 would be without access to a safe water supply
* 1 would have HIV
* 1 near death
* 2 would be near birth
* 7 people would have access to the Internet
60 Asians 12 Europeans 5 US Americans and Canadians 8 Latin Americans 14 Africans
49 would be female
51 would be male
82 would be non-white
18 white
89 heterosexual
11 homosexual
33 would be Christian
67 would be non-Christian
* 5 would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth, and all of them would be US citizens
* 80 would live in substandard housing
* 24 would not have any electricity
(And of the 76% that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)
* 67 would be unable to read
# 1 (only one) would have a college education.
* 50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
* 33 would be without access to a safe water supply
* 1 would have HIV
* 1 near death
* 2 would be near birth
* 7 people would have access to the Internet
Look Father!
Look father! Those sheep have been shorn.
No, my son those sheep appear to have been shorn, on the side visible to us
No, my son those sheep appear to have been shorn, on the side visible to us
April 10, 2008
A Frickin' Elephant
My four-year old Grandson, Jordan, is learning to read.
Yesterday he pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, ‘Look Grandpa! It’s a frickin’ elephant!’
ElephantI took a deep breath, then asked…
‘What did you call it?’
‘It’s a frickin’ Elephant, Grandpa!
It says so on the picture!’
and so it does…
A f r i c a n E l e p h a n t
Yesterday he pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, ‘Look Grandpa! It’s a frickin’ elephant!’
ElephantI took a deep breath, then asked…
‘What did you call it?’
‘It’s a frickin’ Elephant, Grandpa!
It says so on the picture!’
and so it does…
A f r i c a n E l e p h a n t
RESTROOM!
I was barely sitting down at the airport restroom, when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, “Hi, how are you?”
I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine!”
And the other person says, “So what are you up to?”
What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say: “Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. “Can I come over?”
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them “No……..I’m a little busy right now!!!”
Then I hear the person say nervously, “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps trying to talk to me.”
I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine!”
And the other person says, “So what are you up to?”
What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say: “Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. “Can I come over?”
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them “No……..I’m a little busy right now!!!”
Then I hear the person say nervously, “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps trying to talk to me.”
Cat Washing
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water-a strong industrial solvent often works best-and lift both lids.
3. Pick up the cat and soothe him as you carry him toward the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lids (someone may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a ‘power wash and rinse’ which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people or other obstacles between the toilet and the outdoors.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat, now exceedingly clean, will rocket out of the house at warp speed.
April 9, 2008
April 7, 2008
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